"I am not my kids' god. He is their God." This thought is very overwhelming. It's hard to imagine that anyone could love my kids more than I do. It's also humbling, because as much as I love them, He does love them more, and he loves me the same way he loves them. I've been trying to love with open hands. Loving and protecting my family with every ounce of my being and yet leaving them in God's hands. This is so hard for me to do. To give them to God and trust that he'll do what's best for them. And when it's not what I would want it to be, trust that He'll give me strength and courage to accept it. Most of the time I tell the Lord I'm leaving them in His hands, but I'm still clinging to them, not wanting to let go. No one wants anything bad to happen to their family. For me the fear can be paralyzing. I hate leaving Olivia at someone else's house. I pray the whole time I'm away from her that we'll all be together at the end of the day, happy and healthy. I pray every day that God will keep Ryan safe while he's at work. I still check on Olivia every night before I go to bed to make sure she's still breathing and now I check on Ronan, too. And I thank Him so much for keeping us safe and well. And although the tears stream down my cheeks as I say "I give them to you, Lord, with open hands", I remember that they were His before they were ever mine. They are precious gifts from Him. I love my family so much.

Olivia

My goodness, this child is too funny. Every day it seems she is doing something that makes me smile or laugh. This was today when she was listening to VegiTales. I missed the very beginning when she was really bee-bopping her head to the music.

Don't ask me where she got the idea that this is a bra, but she loves to wear one. ;)

 The other day I was helping her get dressed...
"What's this? Oooh, underwear!"
"Actually, Olivia, it's called a diaper cover."
"Oh! Haha! A diaper cover? Thanks, Mom, you're the best!"
This was accompanied by a huge hug. Melted my heart. made me laugh, too, when I was trying to figure out where she'd heard "you're the best". Probably Mickey Mouse. Can't you hear it - "Thanks, Minnie, you're the best!" But she's said it several times since then and every time my heart melts a little.

This might be a little TMI, but it's funny none the less. We got her a little toddler seat to go on the toilet and so she's starting to go potty like a "big girl" some. The other day she was sitting there and said, "Oh, it's coming, it's coming! Hmmm. (toot) I pooped!" So very proud of herself. ;)

She still thinks of my stomach whenever she sees a balloon. It usually sounds like this...
"A bayoon (balloon)! Mama's tummy pop!"
"Mama's tummy popped?"
"Get Wonan (Ronan) out. Doctor."
"Mama went to the Doctor and he helped her get Ronan out of her tummy?"
"Yeah! It pop! My doctor?"
"You want to go to the doctor?"
"Yeah."

She still loves coloring and writing. You have to watch her though, because sometimes she makes a bit of a mess.

Luckily this was a dry eraser marker and came right off the table.

She loves to sing. A few of her favorites right now:
The Itsy Bitsy Spider
ABC song
Pop Goes the Weasel
Ring Around the Rosie
(These two are usually sung together, "Pop goes the rosies, ashies, ashies, we all fall down.")
Building Up the Temple
Zacchaeus
Deep and Wide
Yesterday she even played the piano very nicely while she sang "My Peace I Give Unto You".

Things she loves...

Looking at herself in the mirror.

Cats

Being a big sister.

SomethingTo Think About

Today I came across this. It really struck a cord with me. I haven't read very much of her blog, but what I have read makes me think that some how she is reading my thoughts and writing them down for me. I found it when I read this. I love reading things that I can relate to. But then who doesn't? ;)